The Art of Mentoring, Ontario

I was lucky enough to be a part of the first Art of Mentoring in Toronto a couple weeks ago. It was a very educational experience for me so I want to share some of what I learned. It is hard to describe what exactly goes on at an Art of Mentoring. It is a week long workshop that has been going on for 15 years or so that was started by Jon Young.

There is a specific community that I'm a part of that has a philosophy based on nature connection and awareness and I think the Art of Mentoring was first designed to try to bring more people into that community and clarify what it is that the community stands for.

Specifically there are things that happen during the week. The entire group of 200 or so sings a lullaby to all of the children before they go to bed. The teens are honored and sent off for a 4 day survival trip. The elders are always taken care of and asked for advice. The adults sit in on lectures about nature connection then experience the games and activities that we do with the youth. They also have a day to wander the land, swim, make friction fires, play in the mud etc. Everybody gets a free pass for the week to be silly, get dirty and be themselves. Everyone is supported, complimented on their gifts, challenged on their integrity and held to their commitments.

We take hard looks at ourselves and our conduct and we look to nature for guidance when things aren't working right. One of the big points at the Art of Mentoring is that for most of our history, our culture has reflected nature and that was good. Nature works really well and we are supposed to be a part of it and work in the same way. But they don't force anything at the Art of Mentoring. Its all a big experiment. Nobody tells anyone how they should act or feel or anything. Its an invitation to try something and see if it works and if it doesn't work or feel good everyone is encourage to speak up about it and it will get changed. That way it evolves like a natural system and gets better and better.

There are ceremonies too. They are really simple and lighthearted but we do them because it feels healthy psychologically. We stand in a circle and share something we are thankful for before meals. This makes us constantly think of all of the gifts in our lives and we act more consciously as a result. We are more intentional about the things we use and the cost of where they come from. There is lots of music and celebration. Everyone is encouraged to share their own music because we think one of the special gifts of humans is that we can express beauty through art. So we're encouraged to do that a lot.

The result of doing all of this for a week for me is that I'm much more intentional about the things I say and do. I have a strong image in my head of how healthy and happy a group of people can be and I carry that around with me along with the tools I learned of how to share that in different ways. I also have a renewed passion and spirit. Like I was able to plug my soul into an outlet and fill up the battery.

There is also a lot of grief that I feel when I leave an environment like that and return to a colder world where everybody is a stranger. Its a struggle to not go up to every person I know or even people I don't know and shake them and tell them that they are sacred human beings and I want to celebrate their gifts and support them with whatever they are going through. I don't think that would go over well.

The other weird thing is that its all such common sense. Its not rocket science to realize we would all be happier and healthier if we did the things that made us happy and healthy. But as Ingwe, one of the elders of this community who has since passed aways says (in a thick south African accent) "common sense isn't so bloody common now is it?!".

We have another big Art of Mentoring in Vermont next week. A lot of people come to this one and its been going on for several years now. I'm looking forward to it and I'll let you know how it goes.